No longer must you toil in drab rags of yesterday, this fine garment announces to the world: “I have arrived.”
✨ FEATURES: • Clinically proven to increase your odds of winning at least one bar fight per fiscal quarter • Scientifically proven to increase respect from neighbors, employers, and mysterious strangers
👕 Priced modestly for the working family, yet decadent enough for the cocktail set. 🎶 Recommended use: wear nightly while nodding solemnly to any funky beat.
⚠️ GOVERNMENT NOTICE: This shirt may cause time distortion, elevated swagger, and unsolicited applause.
